Moving Power from Predators: #MuteRKelly

This post is inspired by the 6 part Surviving R. Kelly documentary on Lifetime. This has sparked a lot of debate on social media regarding age gaps, laws, who's really the victim, cover ups and any other aspect of sexual assault. I realized that people lack morality when it comes to sexual assault, but this wasn't a new idea. We see the victims get blamed and predators protected. In this post, I want to focus of predators, enablers, and accountability. While sexual assault is not exclusive to any community but, this post will center around the black community.

First, it is only right to discuss R. Kelly and others like him. We already know that the music industry is built off of sexism and misogyny. The thing about men who work in the industry is that they receive an automatic shield. They are protected by the agencies and even their fans. No matter how horrendous their crime may be, they will still be loved. Those they prey on are used. They are exploited sexually and are used as a muse by these men. We are aware that a lot of R. Kelly's songs are about the underage girls that he has taken advantage of, so we can only imagine how many others have used young boys and girls to cultivate their crafts. Then, their crafts are used to enable their illegal activities such as paying off family members, law officials, and paying for expenses to groom these young people. We can only imagine how many promised prodigies were exploited and molested by those that were supposed to help them achieve their dreams. The worst part about this is the fans that enable this to happen. Fans put them in a place of a different kind of power. A power where they are untouchable because if one speaks out against them, they become the target of the unfocused cancel culture. While watching the commercial for the documentary about R. Kelly, my mother recalled a video that had been put out of R. Kelly sleeping with an underage girl and urinating on her. What I couldn't wrap my head around was that every single person allowed him to continue to prey. They supported him and loved him unconditionally. His staff, fellow artists, and religious members. We should think about artists as politicians, fans and supporters put them in their positions. Therefore, in a sense, they should answer to us if we are the ones giving them their star power. Why is it that more people aren't speaking up and out against the atrocities? The pressure has to be put on everyone to make a difference.

After reading the statement that Aaliyah's mother released regarding the documentary, I couldn't help but to feel some sort of resentment. Her mother attacked the women in the video stating she was a liar and had never met her. Now, this may or may not be true in their case, but how many times have we seen families cover up rapes in order to protect their image or to not anger the predator because they were in a position of power? How many times has the church turned a blind eye to the pastor molesting children? How many times have families not gotten justice for their family member because of a pay off? I'd hate to say this, but Aaliyah's mother enabled R. Kelly to take advantage of her. She claimed to have always been with Aaliyah yet there was still time for R. Kelly to groom her and force a marriage. Now we see the mother hiding any truth to preserve a legacy, much like common guardians do.

I've seen countless stories where young girls were raped or molested by an older family member or a family friend. They attempted to tell their guardians only to be met with laughs, shrugged shoulders, or accusations of lying. It is also no coincidence that the women who support R. Kelly are older and middle aged black men and women. We can call them, enablers. Could it be a generational thing? Where for them it was a norm...maybe a privilege would be a stretch to say? Or maybe it was that women still didn't have voice so to brush off the trauma was normal, it was something passed down to us generations ago. Are the consequences we're facing now and continue to face, a result of the thriving misogyny in the black community? Where women didn't have the voice to speak up because the man would've gotten his way regardless. Could it have been the beginning of the "rite of passage" for young boys that silences them and prevents them from being seen as victims today? We're all supposed to know right from wrong, but if both actors aren't seen to be at the same level, then does the predator actually see it as wrong or just "their" object serving its purpose? Either way, this violent cycle has to end. Parents and guardians have to take care of their children, even when they may not see them as children anymore. This doesn't mean just physically keeping an eye on them and guarding them, but also showing them the evil in the world. Teaching right from wrong. But, what about when the parents aren't around? It takes a village to raise a child. In this case the village is the black community, society. The norms have to be broken. Predators have to be punished for their actions and disgraceful acts. Excuses shouldn't be made for anyone because the energy being put into the excuses could be the energy being put into caring for the victims and preventing them from actually being victims.

In Surviving R. Kelly, we see a number of parents say that because he wasn't convicted of the several charges he once faced, he didn't do it and they trusted their daughters with him. That is absolutely ridiculous and at some point the parents need to take blame for their daughters trauma too. Its common to hear something along the lines of well since they weren't found guilty, they must be innocent. We all know that's not the case, especially when we know the justice system doesn't always live up to its purpose. Bill Cosby was found guilty yet people still don't believe he had done it and I bet that if R. Kelly had been convicted too, people would not believe it. At some point, like Chance the Rapper admitted, you have to realize that people don't believe black girls or they don't care enough to believe them. People can also admit that they're gullible enough to believe that R. Kelly was saved and that pastors alongside of him aren't out doing their similar dirt. These people are also enablers alongside his staff. I just want to throw out there that the blame does solely fall on R. Kelly because we all know that he can't read or write so someone must be helping him. What about the house staff that allows for the women to be held in inhumane conditions? His publicist, the people working behind the stage to help him find underage girls? All of them must come down with him. That includes the policemen that alert him of suspicious activity and the government officials he has more than likely paid off.

To close, I would like to say that we need to hold each other accountable. To start that means cancelling R. Kelly and any supporters or contributors. Cancelling may seem childish or a social media fad, but if we shame those who support a known predator and we stop pouring in support (streaming music, promoting music as classics) ourselves we can make a difference. We can block income, we can have music pulled. We have so much power, but it comes down to a simple question of do we care enough for our community to make a difference? Do we care enough for our young black boys and our young black girls to make a difference? It is so easy to stop supporting these people yet we continue to do it so willingly. Next, call out your friend for their predatory behavior. Protect your friends from unwanted behavior. Listen and pay attention to the young children. Pay attention to the older man that may be hanging around the underage girl. We have the power to protect and prevent, but too often we chose not to and that's unacceptable.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Online Chat: https://hotline.rainn.org/online/
Support the Campaign to Mute R. Kelly at https://www.muterkelly.org/