Mental Health, Perception & College Progression

It, learned to breathe fresh air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete

I want to begin this post by talking a little about perception. 

What they see is messages left on delivered, arriving late to class with an unbothered look, avoiding tasks or meetings, low grades because of a lack of study hours, short responses. What they perceive is carelessness. They see someone who doesn't seem to give much effort, therefore, they brush it off and don't address the situation, even devalue them.

About 30% of College Students Suffer From
Depression

What they don't know is that you see their messages, but you cant gather any energy to talk to them although you want to. They don't know that while you arrive late to class, that was an actual win because rather than missing the class altogether, you were able to push yourself just enough to get out of bed that morning. They don't know that you want to participate in the meeting or complete the task, but you're fearful of not being able to put forth your best effort therefore failing them once again. They see low grades and think its a lack of attempt or even worse "you're not smart enough" what they don't see is that you spend hours staring at your books and computer screen knowing and understanding everything needed to be done but your head is so filled with void you're unable to accomplish even the smallest assignment let alone a full paper. Then at this point, your short responses are ill received even though they come from a place of not being able to explain any of this because you know that those around you wont be able to understand. They don't know that you're numb and your sighs aren't from a place of disregard but that the slow deep breaths are, at that time, the only thing you can feel. Depression can be crippling. Outside perceptions may not be able to see whats going on but how do you reveal your struggles without being labeled "weak"?

College students bear a lot of responsibilities. About 30% of college students suffer from depression and anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental health problems on college campuses. Stress can contribute to the risk of depression. Some signs of depression in a college student include slipping grades, an increase in risky behavior, isolation and even a lack of interest in activities. Some signs of anxiety in college students may include feelings of stress or apprehension, trouble concentrating and sweating and dizziness. On college campuses, 1 in 4 students have a diagnosable illness, however, 40% do not seek help. This can lead to a lack of attendance, decline in academic performance, apathy, and a negative outlook and interactions.

During the second semester of my freshman year, I was diagnosed with depression. For some, their hardest times are during the winter months when its dark and cold which is commonly known as "seasonal depression". Personally, my hardest times are in the spring. I'm not sure why but for the past four years I've struggled greatly during the months of March and April. This year, I am very happy to say that this semester has been different. I guess that I've put more focus on making sure that I had maintained my mental health to the best of my ability. For me, this meant taking personal time whenever necessary. If someone or something was disrupting my peace of mind then it had to be eliminated or put on hold right then. If I noticed that I was starting to feel a bit down then I would make it a point to tell myself positive affirmations. We tend to forget that as people, we are still as gentle as plants. We require sun and fresh air. We require the tender touch of others because we cannot always care for ourselves. We require water to keep us fresh and a foundation that will guarantee our growth. 

I can't say that my efforts to overcome such an obstacle was done by myself. Having a strong support system is so essential. For me, so many people helped without even knowing how much they were helping. Random messages from family filled me with warmth. Trips with friends and sisters filled me with joy. Consistent friendships and check ins from those who are busy yet make time were like fireflies in the night time. Random unplanned fellowships were a reminder that we make our own happiness. All of this is something that I only hope I can give to someone else because it makes all the difference. 

 For more information visit www.adaa.org

In one of Ari Lennox's new songs she ends with the realization that all of the materialistic items around her won't provide her with the joy, warmth, or happiness that she seeks. She end with "And then I realized, oh my god, I need people!" We can't fill our voids with items hoping the give us the comfort we seek. There isn't any item that is as unique as any of your friends and family members. In college, there isn't any class, organization or club that is going to fill the void you're looking for. Picking up extra classes won't keep you distracting from your mental health. Utilize any resources available. You have to take care of yourself.