"Recognizing Your Role as a Woman"

The hashtag "#Proverbs31Training" has been taking over twitter today. The video displays a young mother and her daughter washing dishes with the caption "I ain't raising no lazy a** child. I'm raising someone future wife, mother. #Proverbs31Training". It should be noted that the mother is a full time stay at home mother and the daughter has a twin brother.

She received backlash from various followers saying she was limiting her daughter's future and if the post was really about not being lazy then why wasn't the son in the kitchen helping with the housework too. 

So there's a few questions here: Is it limiting to train your child to be a mother and wife? Could it be a double standard to not have the son in the kitchen washing dishes as well? and finally, Does religion play a role in the narrative that women should serve men and how does that dynamic affect present day relationships between men and women? While it's easy to say that it's her child and she can parent however she pleases, we have to recognize that this is a continuous cycle. By teaching our daughters this, we're saying that one day your life will result in marriage and you will have a baby. We don't know the kind of affects this can have on a woman by instilling it in her. She might grow up and her primary focus be centered around only being a wife and mother and not aspire to do anything else.* Or she could grow up expecting to have children and she can't. These are the things we have to consider when instilling the younger generations with the idea that their job is to breed, cook and clean. We can see a problem occur when the daughter's twin brother isn't being held to the same standard. We can see a reflection of this in society when people don't push for men to be husbands or fathers. 

What role does religion play in all of this? Could it be that it's used as a device to deter women from becoming the heads of households? We have to realize that having this dynamic can affect the way men see women outside of the household. They may not give the same respect to them because they don't see them as an equal. Ultimately it doesn't end up being about a balanced household or a godly relationship, it turns into a power structure. One where responsibilities and respect is not mutually shared. 

Recognizing your role as a woman does not mean recognizing that it's your place to serve another but that you have the ability, the freedom, to choose how you live your life. Men don't aspire to do certain household chores for another, so why would we? Recognizing your role as a woman is to feel and know that it is your choice to become a wife or a mother that its not your sole purpose. Coming to understand this isn't a plight, it's a certain level of liberation. Like "I could birth a whole human and be a wonderful (insert career choice here)" is fascinating, but "I could birth a whole human and commit my life to cooking and cleaning for another human because that's what being a wife and mother means" not so much. 

*Although, if a woman truly desires to be a mother and wife that is her discretion. I know plenty of independent, ambitious women who would like to take on those roles one day. 

Sometimes the role of being a wife and a mother is a topic that can be pretty touchy. Realizing this I would like to say that this post isn't meant to demean or deter women from being wives or mothers, but to say that we are not restricted to or required to be anyone's wife or mother. It's to say that it is okay to share the house work load with your partner. To understand that sometimes religion is used to oppress and to make sure we realize when that is happening in our relationships and our churches. Lastly, to teach our young men that a wife isn't measured by how well a woman produces children or how well she does housework, and that is the real #Proverbs31Training.